Should I stay...should I go?

The normal weekend routine, of washing and folding clothes.. dusting.. sweeping.. mopping and just cleaning has all been completed..
.. or should I say.. “all I plan to do for the day..”

.. the boys are outside.. and THEIR FATHER, sleep..
..see today he’s just “their father” and not my MAN.. or my BABY… my HONEY..
..see there’s been some tension between us two,
..different things here and there but mainly regarding money issues..
.. there’s been lack of attention… loss of affection and lately, I’ve just been having a wondering eye..

.. now..there’s nothing wrong with having that wondering eye..
..but here is where the problem lies..
.. an old fling of mine.. has taken the time.. to infiltrate MY mind..
.. slowly but surely trying to undermine..
..the belief that IS or maybe WAS… that maintained the monogamy between my MAN and I..

… and I’m quite tempted folks to go against ALL that I believe..
.. for SEVERAL hours of pleasure I know I WILL receive..
.. cuz from my MAN I am unable to retrieve..
.. and DAMMIT…talking about it .. we NEVER agree..
.. and just like in the past.. nothing is EVER achieved..

.. so NOW.. I sit here ..skin so soft.. powder fresh..
.. DAMN I smell good..
.. sitting.. wondering.. pondering..
… if I could.. if I should..
.. let this “fling” do his thing and have his way with every part of me ..
… I grab my purse, where are my keys…
.. conscience of mine….PLEASE, let me be!

.. I want to go .. I NEED to leave
.. FORGET being a good girl…FUCK integrity..
.. I want to be tongued downed…
.. licked up.. flipped over and F**KED!
.. wheeeww!!! Excuse my language …

.. so… I slip my sandals on.. toe nails freshly painted..
… some time has passed so my friend and I will need to get reacquainted..
… grabbed a pen, grabbed a paper … and simply wrote.. “doing some running around… call me if you need me.. Later.. Nummie”

.. I put on my BIG framed, BIG shades for BIG faces…
… take one more look in the mirror, fluff the curls in my hair..
… turn the corner to head for the door.. and I’ll be damned..
.. little men meet me head on with a stare..
.. “where you going, mommy?” .. lying to them?.. do I dare?
.. just a little fib to get away .. especially since a chance like this is rare..
.. do I act selfishly… do I dare?.. or stay and what’s broken, try to repair..
.. DO I DARE??
… should I stay.. or should I go.. ??

… I finally answer.. “going to the store.. you guys wanna go…?”