Food for Thought

this song is my very best and favorite song in the whole wide world..(yes i know the grammar was awful but u feel me! ) To each his own, so i understand if you are not a Badu fan but this song should touch us all. we're not getting younger, and some of us no wiser. she speaks alot of truths..."i have some food in my bag for you, not that eatable food, that food you eat, no, perhaps some food for thought, since KNOWLEDGE is infinite, it has infinitely fell on me..." song: Appletree, album: Baduizm.

but below is the chorus of Time's a Wastin from Erykah Badu's album, Mama's Gun. embrace those words ya'll.. and Happy New Year!


Time's a wastin, don't you take your time young man..
Keep on driftin, ain't no telling where you'll land….

Run baby run run,
Where you runnin to?
And who you runnin from?
Some people may not understand
What it means to be a Man,
Takin full command

Cuz , we're livin in a world that's oh so strange
Boy don't let your focus change
Takin out the demons in your range, hey
Livin in a world that's oh so fast
Gotta make your money last
Learn from your past…

Be Blessed and Live life, Luv life!

So your gonna be an ASSHOLE all your LIFE!?!?!

It is beyond me how someone can be ASS all their life! Now granted no one is perfect and everyone makes mistakes.. but DAMMIT how many mistakes in life do you make before you humble yourself to not be an ASSHOLE about everything and everyone. I understand we all have our own journeys to take, mistakes to make and lessons to learn. I am a STRONG believer in this concept! But despite knowing and believing in this concept, it still BAFFLES me at the level of PRIDE ones has to not be able to ACKNOWLEDGE when and how they are WRONG.

How do you live like that? How do you genuinely feel GOOD about the person you are and have become? Do you even CARE? What can you pass on to your kids with that kind of attitude? Again, do you even CARE? Do you think having UNDERSTANDING, COMPASSION, ACKNOWLEDGEMENT of your errors, will make you a WEAK person?
Or do you just get off on being an ASSHOLE?

PROUD!!

My most favorite pictures of Our First Black President...
*** Aren't ya'll PROUD my people?!?!? ***

Winter Wonderland in Milwaukee

Dammit...it's snowing again....

I couldn't get a picture of it coming down..but here its all piled up and in the way... we got about 7-10 inches and more to come this weekend.

Man I need to move!! I sho do miss the south.............

Stay warm, drive safe and HAPPY HOLIDAYS!!

(Thought: at least we'll have a white Christmas :0) )

a LoNG wEeK fiNallY OvEr !! TGIF...

finally...a long, busy, draining week is over..for whatever reason, this week was extra long and extra busy... like there was a full moon out but we won't get that til about the 12th of the month..

clients demanding more than normal, issues more unusual than normal and a just plain ol stressful week...thank goodness we don't deal with customers directly or i might have called in all week...LOL

BUT!! Please Almighty...know my heart.. i am GREATFUL for my job, my benefits, my 401k, my stock and even the good people i've gotten to know and now can call FRIEND. THANK YOU!


AND...thank you for FRIDAYs...
(mota here i come...)

my soul is hungry..

Ever had a song sing to your soul? Ever had nature take your breath away? Ever laugh so hard or so much that when you were done, your soul felt refreshed?

If you have had the pleasure of experiencing these “soul-maintainers” and to actually be in tune with yourself enough to be aware of the things in life that caters to your soul, then you can very much understand needing and wanting your soul catered to on a regular basis.

I am at point in my life where the man in my life does not SING to my soul. Our conversations are semi-stimulating, our laughs are for the moment, and his thoughts go no further than around the 1st corner up ahead.

Now, before I go any further, I have to give my man props where props is due. He is a GREAT father! And I unfortunately must stop there. (no, I’m sorry, he IS a GREAT LOVER!) Now, just like every person on this earth, you are who you are because of your up-bringing, experiences in life, decisions made, lessons learned. With that being said, I do not blame him or fault him for being the way he is because it is the make-up of his life, IT IS HIM.(and who am I to judge and he is who I chose) I have learned to accept him for him but at the same time call him out on the ways about him that are FUCKED UP or just need some evaluating. I expect him to do the same with me. That’s how 2 people learn and grow from each other. I must admit it is sometimes a task because he almost immediately goes in defense mode, not realizing it is constructive criticism and if I really had a problem with him/it, I would not still be with him, no matter how many kids we have together.

So, without going into the long story of how I ended up with this man, it basically boils down to wanting what I wanted versus wanting what THE ALMIGHTY had planned for me. Funny how HE lets us have our way knowing that it was not what HE had planned for us. Kind of like when your child keeps trying to touch something hot and you keep telling him “ah ah, no no, HOT.” But he continues to reach for it, so you let him.

SO HE LET ME! And I accept the decision I made!! So what’s the problem? The problem is, my MIND and my SOUL want to cheat! Now, let me break this down. I have found the solution to the problem at hand, but see it is the results of the solution that is getting at me. I have found a way to cater to my mind and my soul. I have found topics, books, songs, etc., that have enlightened me and awakened my curiousity and hunger for knowledge. But then, I would like to share, discuss, converse about the things I’ve learned or read or believe. Ya know!? But discussing anything with him is like talking to a child. And no I am not calling him a child. He has sense, he has common sense, street smarts, book smarts.. but lacks the very things needed to sing to MY soul. But yet I love him. And I just have this feeling that over the years, the love I feel for him will be solely because he is the father of my sons and no longer because I am in love with him and everything about him, and that scares me because I KNOW he loves me and I would never want to hurt him but at the same time if my soul is not getting what it needs, it will surely DIE. (adapt or even disappear) And none of these things I am willing or wanting to happen to MY soul. I love ME and who I am and I especially love MY SOUL and what makes my soul happy.

Badu put it best.. “my soul flies free like a willow tree…” song: Appletree

ALMIGHTY FATHER, you have created me unique to anyone else on this earth and I thank you. I ask that you forgive me for leaning to my own understanding, forgive me for not waiting on You Lord. Help me handle the repercussions of my choices FATHER. Help me to not act on my own selfish choices again FATHER! Help me always be aware of the persons affected when making any kind of decisions in life LORD. I thank you for my family LORD and ask that you bless them and bless those persons and families with much more critical situations than this LORD. I LOVE YOU, I LOVE YOU, I LOVE YOU FATHER! And I thank you! In Jesus name, AMEN!

….to be continued

last hour of work.. pick a birthday cake up.. start cooking

5.24 pm CT ..countdown to the end of the work day which sucks because i still have so much to do.. yes thankfully we're off tomorrow but i will be up all night getting Thanksgiving dinner started.. i still have to go the grocery store to pick up some misc things i forgot and a Birthday cake for my little one...

yes, today is his 1st birthday and mommy is stuck at work at 5.26p...BLAH!! granted, it is only his 1st brthday and a big fuss doesn't need to be made but i'm such a sapp and would have love to spent the whole day with him, taking pictures, video recording him, singing, laughing and playing.. guess thats the advantage of being a "stay at home mommy"....

so, after all the running around if done, i still have to start the cooking.. which in the past years i had no problem of jumping right in.. but this year.. i'm not so thrilled.. 1. because this is my 6th year of NOT spending it with my mom and sister or my dad, his wife and step-brothers/sister.. and 2. because the man in my life, father to my sons, the man i love, can be a complete and total ASSHOLE.. no need to get into why BUT, he doesn't realize that the mood i am in when i am cooking is going to be what HE tastes.. the love that is put into the cooking will be specifically for my babies... oh and company.. LOL

so, i am going to make sure i stop by the liquor store(crazy cuz i'm not a big drinker but it seems to be on my mind) soooo

officially 6.00pm CT...yeah i had to take some calls in btwn there..